These are the gap-toothed years, when the ascap tooth fairy leaves quarterly statements under our pillows, rewards for the little bits of “anodyne” and “spaghetti streetwalker” that play largely unnoticed in the living rooms of Swedes and Italians and Mexicans.

What I mean to say is that we’re 7 years old, that this is the time that you pat us on the head and ask, “So Speechwriters LLC, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Do we want to be firemen? Veterinarians? Corporate financiers or chief technology officers?

When we grow up we will be rockstars. Here’s our 1st grade talent show: